I Honor You…I Do

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If you look to the left, you’ll see a link that has the stillbirthday student logo. That’s me! I am currently enrolled in the January 2015 session of the stillbirthday stillbirth & bereavement doula training.

What brought me to this place? I know what it’s like to leave your house pregnant…big pregnant…and come home to an empty nursery with empty arms and an empty womb. (I also know what it’s like to be not so big pregnant and then all of a sudden be not pregnant at all.) And sadly, there was no one, other than my amazing husband, to help me through. But what did we know about dealing with this kind of loss? I mean, you lose a parent…people KNOWΒ that kind of loss. They understand it, they aren’t afraid of it. Lose a baby, to stillbirth or pregnancy loss, you’re literally alone. People don’t know how to respond to that. They don’t know how to help you through it. And sometimes, when people don’t know what to say-they don’t say anything.

And so for the longest time, we grieved alone. To be perfectly honest, we actually grieved alone, me in my own way & the hubby in his. Even we didn’t talk about our pain with each other. So, finding the baby loss community online and through Facebook was, to state simply…a lifeline. All of a sudden, I was surrounded and supported by people who understood. People who knew without asking, but asked anyway. People who wrapped their digital arms around me and scooped me up into a hug. And through that kind of support, the hubby and I started opening up to one another. And that helped me more than anything…that level of comfort in talking about my grief. Β And then I found stillbirthday and fell in love.

Here was a place that got it. It understood, it knew…it got it! My babies mattered, they count, they existed! And then I found that I could make sure that no one in my area felt as alone as I, we, did again. I could take my experiences, mix in some helpful tools, and be there to help other mammas through this. I could give back what so many have given to me. And I loved that idea.

After doing some research, finding the right program and sessions for me, I enrolled with stillbirthday, in tandem with another program, but that’s just for me. Hopefully, in just another couple of months, I will proudly have the initials, SBD, following my name.

Now, if you’ll excuse me…I seriously need to go do my exam. I kinda got sidetracked. I do that sometimes. lol Not to mention, it’s almost OPK time. πŸ˜‰

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2 thoughts on “I Honor You…I Do

  1. Before this post I had ever even heard of SBD, but now that I have I definitely what to learn more. I have not experienced a still birth but I have been through 2 miscarriages and the loss of a Fallopian tube & I get the whole ALONE thing & having people want to say something, not know what to say, so say nothing situation. I too found it difficult to talk to my boyfriend about what was going on because I didn’t want to off load on my emotions on him when he was feeling pretty emotional himself …The Internet support has brought great comfort . Good luck to you on your SBD journey, it sounds like an amazing thing to do πŸ™‚

    MsCarry On x
    http://www.mscarryon.wordpress.com

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much. It is definitely a journey.

      I am so sorry to hear about your losses. I’d have gone crazy had I not found the online support of the baby loss community. ❀

      I look forward to getting to know you better πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

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