In one of my groups today, someone asked about buying a used car. She had no experience and wanted some pointers.
Mine were: if you’re buying from a private seller get a mechanic to look at it before you buy it & if you’re buying from a dealer you can always negotiate everything from price to warranty.
And then it happened! Another woman said, “Be sure to take your husband, or a guy, with you.” Really?!
Ok, so she went on to say that the salesman would treat her different, speaking from personal experience, if there was a guy there.
But come on! Why would we perpetuate that by playing into it?! Now, don’t get me wrong…I’m a country, small town girl. I am all for my husband taking care of me. You know the whole opening doors, ordering at restaurants, paying the bills. What I don’t need him for, or care for him doing, is making another man-salesman or otherwise-treat me with common courtesy instead of like some silly woman meddling in men’s business!
Because make no mistake, of the two of us-he’s the one who would…and has…walked into a dealership and just be happy with whatever the salesman said, with no questions. Just an “OK, let’s sign the papers”. That is so not who I am. In fact, my husband has actually said I can be embarrassingly…um, let’s go with outspoken. That sounds better than bitchy. lol
And I can do that in jeans and a tank top or heels and a dress! I don’t need a man standing next to me to validate the fact that I should be in the room. And it really pisses me off that another woman would suggest that I would. Ok, so I get that “technically” she wasn’t talking to me. But she was talking to another woman. And one who clearly was already worried about being taken advantage of! So I’m sure she meant it as a tip…it was anything but! She left her feeling like no matter how much effort she put into preparing for this, the only way she could it was with a man.
Yes, if you’re not sure of something it is always best to bring along someone who is. (Hence the mechanic suggestion.) But, a man isn’t always the person who is in the know. And you damn sure don’t need a guy to make sure you’re taken seriously. You do that part of the deal on your own! You stand up for yourself, walk with your head held high, and you make the sexist asshole talk to you like you are a human being! Because you are awesome! But you have to make sure everyone knows you’re awesome by letting them know you know just how awesome you are!