I am the Queen of “OK”! If someone asks me how I’m doing, 90% of the time I’m answering, “OK”. Why? Because everyone knows, and never wants to be, that person who isn’t “OK”. Plain & simple!
You don’t want to sound like you’re complaining. You don’t want to be a Debbie Downer. You don’t want people to stop talking to you.
Cause when you aren’t OK, you already feel isolated. You already feel alone. You feel like no one understands.
But you know that people do understand when you’re feeling fine. And isn’t that what we really want to hear when we ask someone how they’re doing? We want to hear that they’re happy, healthy…OK. And the more times we hear that someone isn’t OK, the less we ask them. It’s just human nature. Everyone has their own issues that they deal with everyday. So, it’s more of a polite question.
And because it’s kind of an unwritten life code to be OK, that’s what we do. But what happens if we aren’t? It is so exhausting to be OK all the time, both emotionally & physically. We all need that one safe place where we are allowed to just let go. And that safe place needs to be more than just your shower. We all need that one person, if not more, who may not know what to say…but knows how to listen to your tears. Without the amazing people I’m lucky enough to call my friends, I’d be lost. If I didn’t have my support-if have given up so long ago.
You can’t be strong every single day. It’s just not possible. Even Superman had an alter ego so he didn’t have to be amazing every second of every day. And needing to cry, needing to unload, doesn’t make you weak. It doesn’t make you unworthy of love and understanding. It makes you human. You deserve to have someone be there for you like you are for others. So please know, you are entitled to share your bad days.
A true friendship shares & supports through good times and bad. So don’t worry…because the people who will stop asking how you’re doing, were never worth your time anyways. And they were never deserving of your thoughts.
And, if you’re someone who finds it easier to share with someone you don’t know that well…for whatever reason…you can always come to me. I may not know what to say, but I’m a damn good listener.