So this has been weighing on my heart the last couple of days. And I feel like I would be remiss if I didn’t speak up about it.
As many of you know, October is not just about Breast Cancer Awareness. It’s also dedicated to Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness. I am 1 in 4, I am the face of pregnancy & infant loss. It is a painful badge to wear.
Over the last few days, several of my fellow BLMs…baby loss moms…have done status updates on Facebook. In these status updates, they explain what October is & that they’ll be posting a lot about Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awarenss. And they explain that they know it’s a hard subject and that those in their friends list who feel uncomfortable with the subject are more than welcome to unfollow them for the month of October. With no hard feelings.
(Now, let me pause for just a second to say that if that’s the decision they’ve come to, then I completely respect them for it. I am in no way upset with them for understanding that people process things differently. I am in no way saying that their position on this subject is wrong or that they are wrong for thinking this way. My feelings on this are strictly about me and me alone.)
Well, I am not that considerate! Back in May when it was Lupus Awareness month and I was posting daily facts, I never felt like I needed to apologize for spreading awareness about the disease I live with every day. If I was posting about Breast Cancer Awareness month, I wouldn’t offer for people to unfollow me until November rolls around.
Pregnancy & Infant Loss isn’t easy. Nothing about it is. So spreading awareness about it isn’t going to be easy. And hiding from it won’t prevent it from happening again. Acting like it can’t happen to you won’t keep it from happening to you. And the reality is, if it hasn’t happened to you…it’s most likely happened to someone you know and care about. And they need your support & compassion.
How can you be a supportive loved one if you’re hiding posts because they are about a hard subject? How will we ever spread awareness like that?
I’m going to post about Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness month. And if it makes you so uncomfortable that you consider unfollowing me until November-do us both a favor & click unfriend instead. No disrespect, I’m not gonna be mad at you. But if you can’t support me through this month, then we aren’t really friends anyway. So it’s not a loss for either one of us. In fact, if I’m honest, I’ll respect you more for doing that. Because by unfollowing me, you’re saying that I don’t matter unless I’m only happy go lucky Mo.
And let me just say, that my feelings about unfollowing are not just limited to October and Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness. If we are Facebook friends and I’m annoying you to the point of unfollowing-unfriend me instead. Again, I’ll respect you more. Cause I’m gonna be me. And you’re either gonna love me or hate me. I get that I am not everyone’s cup of tea. I seriously do get that. But being unfriended sometimes really is the best option for everyone involved.
If talking about pregnancy & infant loss is a deal breaker for you, then I’m ok with that. I’m gonna talk about it, and I’m not going to be afraid to do so. And if we’re truly friends, then you need to support me the way I will support you through your darkest hours. Regardless of what those are about…cancer, infidelity, divorce, bad hair cuts, misspelled tattoos…it doesn’t matter, I will support you through it because we’re friends.