The hubby forgot to check the mail Saturday, New Year’s Eve. So he checked it Sunday morning on his way in. So, New Year’s Day I opened a little love in the mail package from a wonderful friend. She sent me some tests…cause everyone knows I have a test stash that always has room to grow. (Although the hubby probably doesn’t agree with that statement.) She also sent the stars!
So, I made a new cover photo. lol
Monday was my last dose of Clomid this cycle. And I went in for my CD8 scan on Tuesday. I’ve been very lucky, I’ve responded very well to it. And this cycle seems to be no exception. I had four follicles worth measuring! Two 10s on my left & a 13 and 11 on my right! So, instead of having me come in on Tuesday of next week for my next scan, he wants to see me Saturday!
Now, Saturday appointments are kinda a big deal. The only open office is in Dallas, which is a couple hours away. The only person who is working in the Dallas office on Saturdays is the doctor. And they’re like double the costs…because it’s a weekend appointment. It’s just a follicle scan & possible trigger appointment, so it’s not truly a big deal. But, since he wanted to see me on Saturday instead of Tuesday, a week out, it’s kinda a big deal. Which reminds me…I need to pack up my trigger shot just in case I need it tomorrow.
Actually, most likely I’ll just stress about whether I should pack it up or not. Cause it needs to stay refrigerated. And even though it will be fine if I pull it out tomorrow morning for a Tuesday use…I really hate pulling it out before I know if I’ll be triggering that day or not. And, even if they grow at maximum rate…I don’t know that they’ll be close tomorrow for trigger. We may just plan for trigger on Sunday…maybe Monday. (The irony is…stress during TTC is not good!) And I always tend to overthink and stress over things that really have no reason the be overthought.
But that’s what I do.
In fact, I’m kinda stressing about having a Saturday appointment. The last one we had was last January. That was the appointment right before everything fell apart for us. And even though I know that’s not gonna this time around, I can’t help but have anxiety.
What if something does happen again? What if our insurance says…we’ve paid enough or the doctor just decides it’s not worth trying anymore? The normal, rational, sane side of me knows I’m being stupid. But I was so excited last time. I just knew that by starting off the New Year in his Dallas office, we’d have a baby by Christmas. I just knew it.
I’m terrified, if I’m being honest. Because I’m already caught back up in that level of excitement again. I’ve slowly started working in the nursery again. I’m crocheting blankets for us, instead of others. I believe with everything in me that this is going to happen for us. But I’m so scared.
It doesn’t help that it’s cold as crap outside. lol So I can’t even go walking to try and clear my head. I can make some nachos though. And it is lunch time. So maybe I’ll go do that! ❤ Yeah, I think I’ll do that!
Total bonus…mini road trip to Dallas tomorrow means going to different Starbucks! WooHoo for a venti dirty hazelnut chai latte! If you’d just keep us in your prayers, send happy thoughts, good vibes…all that, we’d be greatly appreciative.