I think it’s so easy to become discouraged while TTC. It’s such a crazy roller coaster ride of a journey. And the weird thing is, you feel…sometimes…like you’re all alone on that roller coaster. Of course your spouse is riding it with you. But, sometimes it can feel like they’re in a different car entirely. Like, you can hear them screaming along with you…but it’s off in the distance.
It can be so isolating. It really can make you feel like you’re alone…even though your surrounded by people.
The hardest thing to remember is to always have hope. One of the things I find myself saying over and over again is…every new cycle brings new hope. It’s not always easy to remember. Especially when my Instagram & Facebook feeds are being blown up by pregnancy announcements (I hate the “we weren’t even trying” ones), sonogram pictures, birth announcements, and cake smashes…and my cycle has just started.
It’s hard. I’m not even gonna try to lie about that. Some days all I can do is turn my phone off, turn on trash tv, grab my yarn & hook, and pull into myself.
After years of trying, it would be so easy to see everyone else getting what I pray for every day, and just give up. I have my despondent moments. I have those moments of anger and jealousy that make me want to give up.
But then I hear this little voice that reminds me how much I want this. How much my very core desires this. And I realize that I would never be able to forgive myself if I just quit.
And I think part of the reason I can still hear that tiny voice is a combination of faith and support. There are moments of calm during my prayers, where I just KNOW that it’s going to happen for us. That’s why I love that scripture so much.
But I’m also extremely blessed to be surrounded by amazing people who support my husband and me through our journey. Trust me, it’s harder to find that than you think. Sometimes when people find out you’re trying to get pregnant, they immediately come up with 1,001 reasons as to why that’s the worst idea in the history of ideas. But that topic is probably best left for another post. lol
Without the support of my friends I’d be lost. (My husband too. Can’t forget him, but for this post I’m focusing on the friends who surround us.) I could not imagine not having them in my life. And what’s great is that not all of them are from the TTC community. I have friends who are supporting me through this who have no idea what OPKs, PreSeed, or follicle scans are. Having a solid support system is a must! These people help to drown out those negative thoughts/people/judgments.
And don’t be afraid to talk about it. Talk about your fears, cry when you need to, scream when the urge hits. Don’t be ashamed or embarrassed to not be happy all the time. Hiding those emotions, burying that part of your journey only helps to isolate you. And it’s not fair to you! The hard times, the times it takes everything in you to push through, are part of your journey. They’re part of you! And those who love and support you…love you, all of you!
You are not alone in this!!! You have so many people supporting and praying for you…even more than you can imagine. You’ve got this! And you are going to be so proud that you pushed through the fear & thoughts of giving up. You are not alone, even though it feels like it sometimes. There are so many of us who understand the full emotional sprectrum. And we are always here! So always have hope!!!